YSAK 51: Help clothe the poor ... in Coach and Hollister

First, a follow-up to Suck #50.

Anonymous writes: "I am pretty pissed at this post. This woman is trying to find work... she is not asking for a handout or welfare - but to WORK. The only past experience she has to build upon is as a crossing guard, and she did well at it... so why not be proud of it. We trust our children to these people... to help them get home safely."

Fair enough. It's true, the sign-holders do a valuable job. And they put themselves in danger of being hit by inconsiderate and inattentive motorists (who are rightfully picked on at 'Education For The Driving (M)asses'). There's a good reason many jurisdictions double the fines for speeding in work zones -- idiots run over the sign-holding lady, or the guy beside her smoking while holding a shovel.

The post wasn't put up to mock the lady trying to earn an honest, brutal living. Good on her for doing so -- it's work that I wouldn't be capable of, given that I sunburn on an overcast day and have to take pee breaks every 20 minutes.

No, it was more about the utterly (overly?) formal nature of her cover letter for a Slow/Stop-sign holding position. Perhaps in traffic-control school, they only spend one day on resumes and cover letters, and this is what stuck.

What I'm guessing they didn't teach prospective Transportation Tech Personnel is to put an online dating webcam picture in with their job application.

Having said all that, yes, Anonymous, you're right. #50 wasn't one of my better picks.

So, here's the one you suggested!

An obnoxiously-coloured, oversized appeal for free clothing ... free upscale clothing, no less. Not a heartfelt sob-story plea for something to keep her babies warm on those cold nights. Nope. Just something classy to show off a young woman's tramp stamp when she's out cruising for hotties.

Wanted: PLEASE DONATE ANY OF YOUR HOLLISTER, AEROPOSTALE ect.

Price: Free

Hi there! If you don't want any of your used clothing please give it to me i will take anything you don't want. I perfer Hollister,abercombie,American Eagle, Old Navy, TNA, Aeropostale, Lulu lemon, Coach Just anything you don't want please! I don't have enough money for good clothes I am very poor both of my parents got layed of about 5 months ago. Thanks again and if you have anything you don't want please give it to me. Thanks again :). God bless you people. (I am size S/M)

Afterthought: What's Old Navy doing in there? Hell, *I* shop at Old Navy ... and I'm cheap! Perhaps this girl is really tired of getting bullied at school (ok, school's out) and this is her last stab at fitting in and not looking like a bum since neither of her parents can find full-time employment. For all I know, her folks are unemployed sign-holders. I'm suddenly feeling all sympathetic for her. I'm getting too mushy here. Maybe I'm pre-menstrual. God bless you people. (I am size L/XL.)