Saturday special: An unboring car ad crafted not to suck

Thanks to the writer of the ad and the seller of the car who tipped me off directly about this one. I don't know if I have a category for "trying too hard", but I'm having a hard time labelling this one. Excellent work, IMHO. I don't know a damned thing about Mazda buyers, but if this is the kind of thing that makes them part with cash, kudos to you guys. Oh, and the pictures were bomb-diggety great.

Wickedly wicked 2008 Mazda Mazda3 Hatchback. Zoom, ZoomJer!

Price $19,555.00
Location Edmonton St. Albert
For Sale By Owner
Make Mazda
Model Mazda3
Trim weekly
Year 2008
Kilometers 27000
Body Type Hatchback
Transmission Automatic
Colour Blue
Drivetrain Front-wheel drive (FWD)
Fuel Type Gasoline
Ooh baby baby, bay bay bay baby. Shaaa, push it! P, push it real good!

You'll be finger snappin', toe-tappin' and hand clappin' when my mouth's rappin' in this wicked Mazda 3. "What does all of this lame, early 90's rap have to do with the stinkin' car", you ask? Nothing! Nothing at all! It was just on my mind when I wrote the ad, so I thought I'd run with it. Although, if you think about it, the awesome stereo could pump out those songs and more at extremely high decibels, and crystal clear. "The Mac Daddy make ya', Jump, Jump! Daddy Mac'll make ya'..." And you'll be the talk of town...

Holy smokes, I can' believe it's not new! Well, it ain't, but may as well be. Sully has been cared for like a child, by a very mature, responsible, intelligent, educated, blaah, blaah, blaah person who blaah blaah, took good care of it and blaah blaah didn't drive like an idiot, blaah blaah.

You like zee sun roof? You lika dee trunk witha lotsa storage? You lika dee pimpin' rims? Das what I tought so.

Oh, and you like leather? I thought so. Why are you still reading in that silly voice? That was so last paragraph. Anyway, not only is leather awesome because it's leather, but when you're DD and your hammered friends ralph all over the interior, clean up is a lot easier, and you can still charge them $100 for the inconvenience! (don't forget to post photos on facebook, too. Totally worth it).


Call if you're cool. You're cool if you call. Girl, you know it's true.


Amazing car, so sad to be selling.
Reason for sell: Payments as a student are hard :(
Mileage: 25700km

Color: "Electric" Blue

Amenities:
-2.3L, 4 cylinder, 5 speed automatic (with Trip-Tronic shift)
-Automatic Car Starter with Remote Keyless Entry
-17" alloy wheels - comes with summer tires
-ABS brakes
-Tinted windows
-BOSE Surround Stereo system
-CD player with AM/FM radio
-Steering wheel audio controls
-Leather seats - heated front driver and passenger seats :)
-Power windows, power locks
-Power sunroof
-Power steering
-Cruise Control
-Air conditioning
-Electric mirrors
-Fog Lights
-Tilt Steering
-Airbags: Driver, Passenger, Side
-Rear folding seats
-Interior fuel latch
-Rain sensing, automatic wipers
-Rear wiper
-Floor mats
And more :)
Winter tires on car, ready to drive.

Still has power train warranty and 3 year bumper-to-bumper

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter