Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Thursday Bonus: Foulmouthed child appraises modern gaming PC at $75

Okay, I understand that Kijiji is The Land Of People With Skewed Senses of Value, but this is a little bit extreme.

It's a case study in little boys with big dreams, an inflated sense of self-esteem, poor decisions and absolute lack of parental involvement.

Ad number one (and two, really, since he posted duplicates) from this tot is for a relatively ancient (2004) PCI video card, heavily overpriced at $50. Consider that you can get a brand new DX 11 ATI 5000-series PCIE card with HDMI output for this price. Also, the last time this card was for sale, it was $65 new.

Wanted: ATI readeon 9200SE diamond stealth S80 PCI version BRAND NEW
Price $50.00

128 mb ddr
w/ DVI/TV-out and a VGA connection
What's wrong with this ad? Well, Junior put it as "wanted" instead of For Sale; he spelled Radeon wrong; and that box hardly looks brand new.

All on its own, this would just be another bad ad. But view the poster's other ads and the lulz pile up.
12 year old student needing parts to build computer

i am 12 and i am building my first computer i have a budget of onley $125
and need all components adn case
Okay, we can fail the education system for not teaching kids how to spell hard words like "and" and "only". But if he's valuing a 2004 video card at $50, how does he figure that a motherboard, CPU, RAM, power supply, HD and case will all add up to ... well, take away the $50 for the video card from his budget, and he's left with $75 for the whole thing. Onley $75.

Surely he must not know he needs all these parts. Oh, wait. He has another duplicate ad here.
Wanted: i am building a computer and need parts

i am building my first computer and need these components

sound card
USB card
hard drive (at least 200 GB) (7200 RPM)
network card
power supply
intel motherboard


if there is anything im missing please let me know
Whoops, I forgot the network card. And the USB card, whatever that is. A 7200 RPM hard drive? Ambitious, kiddo! And an Intel motherboard, eh?
Wanted: i need an intel motherboard that supportsn ddr 2 ram

i ma making my own computer and need a good motherboard with a fast FSB
Whew, another ad! It needs to "supportsn" (the s key isn't near the n on my keyboard, but maybe on his) DDR2 RAM. So he's looking for a tricked-out machine for the price one would pay for a good CASE.

So I asked the lad ... how does he figure this'll work out?

"Does it make sense that you're trying to sell a five-year-old video card for $50, and somehow think you can buy a whole computer for $125?"

He set me straight in the style one might expect from a technically-advanced but parentally neglected child. The entirety of the response:

its called fucking bargaining retard

Mom and dad? Are you there? Your son, at 12, is not legally in a position to make deals like this. He's unsupervised on the internet. I suggest you search through his hard drive and see what else he's up to. When you find his "stash", I recommend you take the PC out of his room and enroll him in remedial classes so he can learn to spell words like "am" and "the". And ask a teacher to introduce him to "punctuation".

And to the kid: smarten up. I don't care if you know Judo and love to drink Mountain Dew. You don't know what bargaining *is*, let alone how to convincingly put "fucking" and "retard" on either side of it.

Come to think of it, without that comma, "its called fucking bargaining retard" reads like "it's called 'fucking bargaining retard'", as in there's a fucking retard trying to bargain on Kijiji. What he meant, I'm sure, was "it's called bargaining, you fucking retard." See, another reason to pay attention in class, boyo.

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