YSAK 276: Death metal band seeks quiet apartment

This one sent in by Patrick is just all over the place. Check out the series of ads looking for an apartment.

Wanted: let's be honest.
Price $900.00
Bedrooms (#) 4 bedrooms

4 responsible guys looking for house in Dartmouth
we smoke and play in a band.

straight up.

$900. Got it. Next.

wanted: 4 bedroom house for under 700 a month
Price $500.00
Bedrooms (#) 4 bedrooms

We need a 4 bedroom house, available immediately in dartmouth for no more than 700 a month with utilities included, We have 3 dogs, a lizard and we are a death metal band. We will be hosting lots of parties so a big backyard is a must.

thanks,

Okay, $500 or $700, and four pets. Natch.

Wanted: Looking for a house in Dartmouth
Price $1,200.00
Bedrooms (#) 3 bedrooms

3 well behaved, mature guys looking for a house in Dartmouth.
we have no pets but we are musicians and we will need a house in which we can occasionally practice during reasonable times.

Please help us find a home!

Ouch! Back to no pets, bigger budget!

My only conclusion: all these ads must have been posted by the drummer. Actually, that can't be right. The spelling is too good.