Wednesday, April 13, 2011

YSAK 368: Best room-rental ad ever *Hall of fame*

Ever seen this ad before? I don't want another round of "Best Kijiji ad ever" posts involving copy ripped off from an old ad, but I honestly haven't seen this one before, and it's quite good for what it is.

May 1 : Furnished Room in lovely flat -North End
Price $450.00

Hello. This room opened up after the tenant for whom it was reserved had to cancel at the very last moment. The space is a bit of a gem. If you like old houses and are fan of late 19th century architecture, you will be wistfully reminiscing about this room when you sit around the fireplace towards the end of your life. Your grandchildren will become bored having to listen to your endless stories about the greatest space that you have ever inhabited. “Kids” you will say, “that room changed everything. It was there that I discovered what it meant to be alive. That room was life distilled into its simple essence. It was to me, what Proust’s apartment was to him. If Thoreau had a room like that, he would have sneered at his pond”.

Naturally, there is a slight possibility that I could be exaggerating a touch. What can be said for certain is that said room is large and furnished, that it is part of a large, sunny, four mammal flat, that your fellow inmates are a civilized, quiet and clean lot. Unsubstantiated rumor also has it that the exceedingly handsome (especially if you suffer from mid-sized cataracts) and fantastically interesting landlord lives in the flat below, popping up occasionally to make sure everything is in perfect order.

Some more details, in no particular order: There, sadly, is no storage, only human, or near human mammals are allowed in the apartment. There is no lease to be signed; bikes have to be locked outside. Only one mammal per room. Only sane, quiet, mature candidates need to bother calling . There is no TV on the premise. All utilities are included in the price except for phone (there is no landline) . No dishwasher so all dishes have to be done old school (diagram provided if needed) . No laundry on site but heaps of Laundromats in area. Smoking on balcony only. Gay friendly (if you are a friendly gay) .

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