YSAK 374: Moves quickly, looks like a turd *HALL OF FAME*

Finally, a new "best used car ad ever" instead of the one that's been circulating in decreasingly funny forms since 2009. This one's from Edmonton and I think you'll like it.

Up for sale is a 1990 Toyota Soarer. It is the penultimate JDM bucket for those wanting something that moves quite quickly but looks like a turd. Great DD for long highway commutes.

This is a no BS sale - you ask and I disclose.

Will trade for Honda CRV preferably manual.

The good

• Valve seals recently done (~5000km)
• Turbos recently replaced (~5000km)
• Horrible JDM wiring mess fixed
• Functional CD player (booyah)
• FD RX7 wheels with decent winter tires
• Engine is in great shape - runs like a top and makes great power
• Newer seats (not cracked / broken like most soarer seats)
• Unmolested dash other than the horrendous canadian tire boost gauge that reads +8 psi at idles the previous idiot put in. (mad tyte street cred for the 30 PSI the gauge claims the car makes)
• New STOCK battery - the huge one the size of a small house with 8.9 million cold cranking amps - i slipped a disk carrying it out of canadian tire so you better believe it's a gooder
• Actually gets decent mileage 10L / 100 KM in the 5kish I've put on it since I fixed it
• Ultra baby firing DUAL rear muffler cannons - for optimal watermelon launching performance. I believe they are Blitz of some sort. Either way they sound OK so I didn't sawzall them off.
• Has the coolest cable mount exhaust cutout thing I've ever seen in that it's the only one I've ever seen and I still have no idea why the previous owner installed it. Presumably it's so he could get a cheap high by opening it and breathing in the exhaust fumes that come up through the floor. No matter - you too can enjoy this experience.

The bad

• I bought it off Kijiji - some kid dorift-curbed it in a BIG way and tore the right rear corner off. From the parts he had and bits I bought off of a salvage place I put it back together. It could still use an alignment but I've frankly not had enough time to care.
• Car is in the shape one would expect to be after being owned by a younger person. Plenty of ricer street cred comes with this car.
• It has a hideous fiberglass BOMEX (only the best) front bumper that is cracked in about 45 different places
• It looks like it was painted by Ray Charles on heroin doing a handstand and using his feet to hold a dried up roadkill carcass as a brush - but from 100 feet it looks pretty awesome.
• Drivers side door panel is mostly attached to the door itself - except the handle. Pretty typical Soarer / SC300 issue. Can fix with fiberglass and some steel or 4" sheet metal screws (but then the window stops working)
• Body has dings and dents as neglected by the previous owner - also a spot of minor surface rust here or there that the previously mentioned top notch bodyman painted over

I think that about covers it. I've been driving it to and from work for a month since I fixed it and it works great. Even had it to Canmore and back with no issues. It could certainly use some love but for $3k 300hp and 10L / 100 KM it's a pretty good deal I'd say. Longblock with tranny in good shape is worth $2000 in parts, exhaust is worth ~$600, and so on.

If you're interested I can entertain viewings at my place. I will not however entertain BS tire kickers. Don't come without cash.

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter