Friday, December 9, 2011

YSAK 470: Kindle gets the extra-hype treatment

In the style of extra-hyped ads that have become popular in recent months, we bring you a Kindle ad sprinkled with current-event references. Text version follows after the jump.

Kindle D00901 with Leather Case - $130
Price $130.00

Look at this sentence. What do you see? You see words, illuminating your life revealing the beauty of literacy. Look closer. You see letters that form words showing how awesome the prospect of phonetics can become. Now look to your left. Again, you see a picture - a picture of a device that allows you to see hundreds of letters, even thousands. Better yet, these letters form words. And those words, my God, form sentences. And these sentences my friends, form books. Marvelous books - books about character, about men growing up and pursuing princesses, about beautiful women daring to dare. These books can be timeless tales of vampires and girls in love – a true classic. Or even light reading like Nietzsche or Stephen Hawking. This device can bring tales of true love and adventure to light, can bring to you self-help books for relationships, or even (gasp!) a book on Herman Cain’s life which he just published, which you can explore how to deny having an affair when it’s publicly exposed.

This is what this special device; the Kindle E-Reader D00901 does for you. Even the name sounds like it comes from the future, from some strange Futurama world. You want something with a similar name as R2-D2, you can have it with the D00901. Trust me, the force is strong with this device.

This E-Reader brings more change to your life than Barack Obama. Brings more excitement to your life than you could partying with Lindsay Lohan. It enhances your life more than a dancing monkey while at the same time has the power to make you a better person even if you were personally influenced by the Pope.

You know what the shocker are here folks? This presidential rock-star of a device enhanced with Wifi Jedi Force capabilities can even go to the dark side without turning your soul into chicken noodle soup. Yes, this baby has 3G capabilities to download beautiful stories anywhere anytime. And you will not have to succumb to the dark side of paying a contract, Darth Vader is dead. Instead, you can leverage both the force and the dark side in harmony. You are not just a Jedi Warrior with this device, but a Jedi Ninja capable of using both 3G and Wifi for free.

And for One Hundred and Thirty Canadian Dollars ($130.00) it’s all yours (I do not accept Euro’s as they will be bankrupt soon). For $130.00 you can become a new person, educated and free. For $130.00, you can become the person your parents always dreamed you would become, a proud owner of a Kindle E-Reader D00901.

And that’s not all folks. I am throwing in a leather case to show what kind of upscale citizen you will become by owning this device. That’s right, a leather case. Don’t worry, PETA allowed this leather to be made due to the Kindle having the power to reduce the amount of Turkey consumed on Thanksgiving. This case will allow men to boast their superiority and instantly give them the social skills to become the lady’s man they desire to be. Women, this case will give you the confidence attracts only the best suitors, such as Presidential Candidate Herman Cain. Currently I am holding this case and can predict the future – that you will finish reading this sentence. WOW. Was I correct? Yes. Because this case gives you, my friend, the ability to predict the future.

So what are you waiting for? Send me an email, we’ll meet and be merry as I wistfully transfer my magical device into your hands. This life changing magical device can be all yours, all you need to do is click the email button.

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