YSAK 494: Potbellied pigs are worse than having a husband

Phil spotted this cautionary tale in North Bay. I work with someone who used to work in North Bay, and ... um ... somethingsomething ... pigs.

Be advised, this is a long read, but someone took the time to write it, so let's be good netizens and read it.

MINIATURE POT BELLY PIGS!!! FREEE!!!!
Price Free
Address North Bay, ON, Canada

I have 2 miniature potbelly pigs that I am looking to get rid of. I have had 13 dropped off on my door step because people didn't do their research when purchasing these animals and even though I have a big yard they are too destructive and are ruining my life! These animals truly belong on a farm. Firstly I will tell you about my greatest issues regarding these miniature potbelly pigs that I have. They are urinating all over my home. They are litter trained, but when bored or left alone for a minute, they urinate and defacate all over my carpet and like to roll in it. My advise, you are going to need a heavy duty industrial shop vac or carpet washer because I use mine daily. As well you will need an air purifier, they are VERY smelly. They cannot live outside in the winter so, they will a have to stay in your home or heated area for the winter. They all love drywall! They enjoy eating the corners of my walls. I have screwed in some metal plates that I could give to you because I had a bunch cut and have some left over. They chew on the metal but they haven't managed to get through it. They love wood as well but, the metal plate corners will fix this. They love to open cupboard doors and remove all the contents, as well as eating anything they can. Mine have got into my cupboard while I was at work and ate batteries and candles. Like I say, they will truly eat anything. They are very curious creatures. They LOVE purses and keys. They got into my purse last week and at my car keys, lip balm, **IPHONE 4S!** ( DESTROYED!!) Ate a bottle of tylenol, as well as all my credit cards, debit card, and all the cash and quarters along with it. They ate the remote to the $500 starter I just put in my brand new truck and now I have to pay another$500 to re-install another one because the remote isn't working. You must put a baby gate in your kitchen because they go into mine and literally rip the cupboards off to get the food inside baby locks DO NOT stop this! I learned the hard way when they got into the garbage and tore up a rotten bloody roast ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM/HOUSE! AND MY COUCH! It looked like a murder seen. Thank god! for the creators of PET OUT! I SALUTE YOU! This product has been my life saver! It actually got all the blood stains out of my carpet. But not amazing enough to remove the farrell urine stains out of my carpet. I will need to replace the carpet once they are rehomed. Also, they are terrible with hardwood floors. They just wear it right down with their hooves, it turns white. My suggestion is buffing/sanding it and re-waxing every summer.They LOVE plants! They stand up on shelves and walls just to pull them down. These pigs also head butt the walls to knock things down so that they can play/eat it. I tried amusing them with those pet balls that release food when rolled around. THIS WAS A MISTAKE! Once the ball gets under the table or shelf.. The score is Pig1 Table 0! They will flip the table right over to get the ball.. no matter WHAT is on the table on shelf. These guys knocked over my community tank with over 400 fish! Still thank god I woke up when this happened to save my fish. You must keep all the doors in your home CLOSED! AT ALL TIMES!!! They get curious and lock themselves in rooms! At this point they get scared and tear up the entire room! The go to the bathroom everywhere and it's just a disaster. I've taken pictures of some of their messes and I will post them soon.

So, here is all my advise. Thought I'd be honest with you since.. I DON'T WANT THEM BACK ONCE THEY LEAVE MY HOUSE! NO RETURNS ACCEPTED! So please think about it before you make your decision.

****These males are NOT NEUTERED*** They must be neutered ASAP. They sweat cat pee! (dirty little box-strong ammonia smell,EXACTLY WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE) It is so bad it makes my eyes water. I have had to put up with it because I cannot afford the $350 neutering bill for each pig! Their saliva also smells like a really dirty cat litter box and they rub it all over my couch and my leg, this smell does not come out :'( My couch is ruined.. as well as many pairs of pants (you're going to need "pig" pants until he is neutered this way he'll only ruin one pair of pants). No matter what anyone tells you.. THEY MUST BE NEUTERED! No ways around it. The smell instantly goes away (it has in my experience having the others neutered) You must go to a special vet to have them neutered. Dr. Fritz in Sundridge is the only local vet that can perform the procedure. HE IS AMAZING! He did a great job on my pigs! No scarring and they healed amazingly! I was so impressed!
As far as food goes, you can buy big bags at Burrows here in North Bay. Bags are around $40 you'll need a bag a month unless you have two pigs.. then you will need two bags a month. You will also need litter for them. They come with a litter box. I buy the litter at Pet Value here in North Bay. It is called Yesterdays News comes in a huge bag (YOU NEED IT). You will need one bag of this every two weeks/per pig. The bags cost $20-$25 every two weeks. So roughly they cost $80 a month not including toys and "damages."
Yes, they are neat pets, but visit the one at Leisure Farms.. less of a lifestyle change... GET A DOG!

I need to re-home them ASAP As they are causing so much destruction that I can't keep up with them financially. They are causing stress between my husband and I, as well as causing a lot of turmoil within our lives.

Moreover, if you are willing to hid all your stuff, jump over baby gates for the next 25 years, have metal plates on the corners of your walls, have messes that are HUGE to pick up every day, Replace furniture and carpet, leave all of your doors in your house closed without forgetting just once and prepared for extensive damages.. Then you are ready to be a pig mommy or daddy! If you choose to adopt one or both of these pigs I will try to be a support system for you and keep in touch with you. If you have any questions about their behavior I will try to assist in any ways I can. I just refuse to take them back, I need a life! If no one dropped them off at my door I never would ave had them in the first place. They truly belong on a farm. They are not a cat or a dog and they get big! They grow up! There is no such thing as a micro/mini pig! They get to be the size of a large dog. So, please contact me if you are willing to give myself and these pigs a new life. They are both black and they are brothers. One's name is Porker and the other is Trouble. I've attached some pictures. The first pic is them together (black ones) Second pic is Trouble. Don't let Troubles name fool you.. Porker is JUST AS bad! If not Worse!

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter