Monday, March 26, 2012

Demon cat sounds strangely like a normal cat (550)

FYI, this cat is not actually up for sale. The owner apparently is an attention whore, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

Demon Cat for Sale. $400 OBO
Price $400.00
Address Barrhaven, Ottawa, ON K2J, Canada

100% guaranteed to change your life!*

Male Chocolate Point Siamese looking for new home to terrorize. $400 OBO. Comes with everything you need: Litter Box, Scratching Post, Toys, Food plus bonus bottle of Hard Alcohol to help ease the pain and forget buyers remorse on those difficult days.

- Very Vocal. Will greet you when you get home, or any other time. Like sleeping, or on the phone.
- Ability to open drawers and cabinets and retrieve items at will.
- Will play fetch with socks. Even when you’re not home, with every pair you own. (See Above.)
- Completely Litter trained. Knows where the box is, refuses to cover “business” when finished.

Hobbies Include:
- Looking cute and innocent when you’re home.
- “Re-decorating” your house when you’re not home.
- Sleeping on your electronics.
- Strange obsession with eating unused female hygiene products and leaving them around the house.
- Chewing plastic of any kind, he’s not picky with things he likes to destroy.
- Play fighting with our other cat, and taking things too far.
- Eating too fast, vomiting, and eating it a second time.
- Surprise sprints around the house, faster than you think is possible and lasting only 10-15 seconds.

(*Positive life changes not guaranteed.)

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