Demon cat sounds strangely like a normal cat (550)

FYI, this cat is not actually up for sale. The owner apparently is an attention whore, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

Demon Cat for Sale. $400 OBO
Price $400.00
Address Barrhaven, Ottawa, ON K2J, Canada

100% guaranteed to change your life!*

Male Chocolate Point Siamese looking for new home to terrorize. $400 OBO. Comes with everything you need: Litter Box, Scratching Post, Toys, Food plus bonus bottle of Hard Alcohol to help ease the pain and forget buyers remorse on those difficult days.

Talents:
- Very Vocal. Will greet you when you get home, or any other time. Like sleeping, or on the phone.
- Ability to open drawers and cabinets and retrieve items at will.
- Will play fetch with socks. Even when you’re not home, with every pair you own. (See Above.)
- Completely Litter trained. Knows where the box is, refuses to cover “business” when finished.


Hobbies Include:
- Looking cute and innocent when you’re home.
- “Re-decorating” your house when you’re not home.
- Sleeping on your electronics.
- Strange obsession with eating unused female hygiene products and leaving them around the house.
- Chewing plastic of any kind, he’s not picky with things he likes to destroy.
- Play fighting with our other cat, and taking things too far.
- Eating too fast, vomiting, and eating it a second time.
- Surprise sprints around the house, faster than you think is possible and lasting only 10-15 seconds.


(*Positive life changes not guaranteed.)

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter