Sunday, April 22, 2012
Do you like this story?
This is the best Kijiji ad I've seen in a long time. I'm not going to over-hype it -- just read it for yourself. And have a dictionary on standby for some of the spectacularly appropriate language.
Two designer dogs and one cat.
Address St John's, NL A1E 2S5, Canada
Dog 2 is a Shichon (Shih Tzu/Bichon Frise cross breed). She has white matted fur and is incredibly stupid. She mimics Dog 1’s actions of defecating indoors, preferring to leave a Hansel and Gretel style path of fecal pebbles throughout several rooms. She takes vacant joy from urinating in random places without desire to show dominance or spite. She has a voracious appetite for all dog food and human food, as well as phones, glasses, shoes, remote controls, children’s toys, and wood of any variety, including chairs, trees, popsicle sticks and table legs. This stunned beast also enjoys snacking on other dogs’ poo, and is known to subsequently vomit these partially digested turds indoors. She whines when she appears sick yet there is nothing wrong with her, ever. She has learned one skill and one skill alone: to imitate Dog 1’s hebephrenic reaction to doorbells, visitors and random noises, and the two project their intense cacophony of fury six to ten times per day, 365 days per year. When being humped by Dog 1, she has no idea she is being humped. She continually tries to escape out the front door into traffic, yet has zero street sense and would certainly be run over in under seven seconds. She is impossible to walk on a leash due to her own lack of self-awareness and prevailing dim-wittedness. She would be the perfect pet for an untidy family with no expensive or important possessions or carpet. Incredibly cute. Bought for $1,350, asking $1,295.
Cat is gorgeous long-haired incredible mouser that causes no trouble and contributes to the family in many ways. Bought for $25. Not for sale.