Laser printer rap (590)

Good lordy god. Two rap pieces in a matter of days? First, the overarching Kijiji Rap video, and now @michaeldinn (whose other ads are worth reading, too) chimes in with a rap about a laser printer. At just $25, I'm tempted to buy it myself. I recall buying possibly the same printer some years ago for something over $500. This is some kind of bargain or perhaps a nostalgia piece.

Laserjet 4P Laser Printer Rap
Date Listed 29-May-12
Price $25.00
Address Halifax, NS, Canada

LaserJet, LaserJet, model p to the 4
prints on paper, cardstock, and more!

From the dudes at H and the P
they make printers for you and me

H is for Hewlett P is for Packard
they make stuff that's never gone backward

got this printer back in the day
best printer ever, I do say

In goes paper, out comes print
at 300 dots, they look sharp and mint

need it finer and more better?
600 dots will caress your letter

its printed for me, in days and nights
on papers of color, darks and whites

color is not something it is able
black ink only is on the table

with a parallel port, to data receive,
included is a cable, you better believe

hook to your desktop, on a printer port
plug it right in, be a sport!

If you got windows, or a mac,
print just once, you'll be right back

need a driver to play some trix?
HP's site has got the fix!

Search and download all your data
so you can print good stuff lata

the LaserJet only talks old PCL5
you don't need postscript to come alive

keeps it simple but not too fast,
take it slow things are meant to last

laserjet gets power at volts 120
and if needed I gots power cords plenty

output pages, 4 per minute
no contest here, no need to win it

up with cash you must just pony
and i'll promise you this printers no phony

don't get excited, don't get a boner
but this lil' printer even has toner

Need some more? Did you run out?
Down to staples, give a shout!

If out of stock is the staples spiel
and that leaves you with an unhappy feel

and you feel kinda cheap and frugal
go to the monster that is google

search for laserjet 4p canada toner
(you can even do this if you're a stoner)

there's a place up on the net
that from this place you can get

the ink you need and toner a plenty
they even ship it right some gently

best price I could find for me,
was a penny under number 43

so don't be wary of supplies that lack
send the google on the attack

with a tray for paper that goes right under
and a rear entrance feeder for sheets asunder

if you you're unsure, if you waver
it might help to know it has toner saver

I'm not uncertain, I've never been seriouser
but this little printer even does Courier

plug it in, it's nothing crazy
and it won't make printouts hazy

black on white or black on whatever
laserjet ain't let me down never

In my car LaserJet will drive
to places where you come alive

but only if never you are way out
gas bills will make me scream and shout

so if you're within Halifax and Dart
this printer could be printin' you art

if you need to print a letter
this printer is great! There's nothing better

write to your mom, write to your dad
they don't hear from you they'll be sad

send a message to those most dear
because from you they'd love to hear

something special, they can keep
delete an email? They will weep!

Paper letters are the old new fad
memories you can hold, like the ones you had

ditch the crazy and electronic
the postal service will go sonic

most envelopes are not an issue,
printer's sold? I'll need a tissue

On the market you must go
bought a color laser, I did yo!

Make an offer, make it quick
please be serious, and make it stick

if you offer, make it strong
this printer might not be here long

on the kijiji where peeps do view
stuff that sells from me to you

write me email, don't be shy
if you need to ask me why

this printer must sell, it's in my space
and i've given it 6 months grace

but using it more would drive me nuts
so its gotta move, out of the ruts

i want the space up on my shelf
for puttin' my stuff, I want it myself

the printer is special but the love is gone
and its really past time for me to move on

I need to find it a good home
leave your number, I have a phone

if you read my tale I call you rad
buy this printer, or i'll be sad

waiting for the first to offer,
if you got money come be a shopper!

All I want is a green twenty,
I think that's fair, I think that's plenty

I will slam it in my pocket,
or in a box and then I'll lock it

Just want to see it safe
don't want to lose it at some place

printers new and printers old
fonts like italic, underline and bold

i want this printer to keep on printin'
and I can't sell it to the redhead Tintin

so here's my post, the end of my tale
and I hope it will not fail

to impress and make you read
but not leave you with your eyes a-bleed

i want your cash, you want this laser
if your girl sees it, it won't phase her

it's not a crazy expensive thing
besides, she probably wants a ring

and I have no rings to sell
so buy the printer and print things well

please!