Sunday, July 15, 2012

Gregory the Deer Mime (626)

Behold the legend of the Deer Mime. Five gold stars to this artist on Kijiji Edmonton for avoiding the obvious joke - if you're shooting a mime, do you need to use a silencer?

Deer head decorated to look like a mime.

Yes, you're seeing that right. It's a deer mime. And as if the image alone weren't strange enough, there's a story to go with it.


DEER MIME
Price Swap / Trade
Address Edmonton, AB T6E 5V5, Canada

I would like to trade this one of a kind "DEER MIME" for something different, strange and unusual (I would also consider something valuable).
The DEER MIME is ready for hanging and comes with the first laserjet printing of the short story "The Tale of the Deer Mime" (signed and suitable for framing). I think it is safe to say that you won't find another deal like this one!
Enjoy "The Tale of the Deer Mime" below.

THE TALE OF THE DEER MIME

Gregory was an odd deer. From the time he was a fawn he had difficulty fitting in with the rest of the group. Some think this is because he spent his time daydreaming, others blame his parents for naming him Gregory (deer typically are not given names), but generally the herd agreed that Gregory’s problem was his obsession with the arts.
While the other deer were searching for woody vegetation, wild berries or the odd California Buckeye leaf to munch on… Gregory was unsuccessfully teaching himself to dance. When his siblings were silently creeping through the woods trying to avoid a hungry mountain lion or black bear… Gregory imagined the unique interpretation he could bring to the “Lady Macbeth” character (should he ever get the chance to audition). And while his peers were finding partners for mating season, Gregory strained to sing Jean Valjean’s “One Day More” from Les Misérables (though he could only manage one soft grunt).
The important thing to remember about Gregory is that he would not give up. Enduring a lifetime of unacceptance and living in a body ill-equip to pursue his dreams did not stop him from trying.
One morning, Gregory woke up with the notion that he should “embrace his negatives”. He couldn’t sing, but he COULD stay quiet. He couldn’t dance, but he COULD move gracefully. He couldn’t make friends, but NOBODY likes a mime!
That settled it. Gregory leapt up from his bed of vegetation and immediately started to apply his mime make up (having no actual make up, he improvised by using white pollen, squashed berries and dandelion milk). Applying makeup proved to be a difficult task for one with cloven hooves, but after several hours, Gregory was ready. He knew that this was his big chance to exercise his theatrical muscle and to show the world the talented performer who has always lived deep inside him.
Gregory quietly waited for the rest of the herd to come for a drink at the pond near the edge of the meadow. As he heard them approach, he nervously gave himself one last look in the still water. “Yes”, thought Gregory, “This is my time to shine!”
The herd looked upon Gregory with great disbelief. Never before have they seen him this way. Never before have they seen him so happy! With visions of Marcel Marceau “walking against the wind” clearly in his head, Gregory sprang out into the sunny meadow, ready to start his performance.
That is when I took my shot.
Blammo! Quick & clean! What a prize! I quickly strapped it to my car and took it straight to the taxidermist. That deer mime head would hang proudly in my office!
Three weeks later, I’m sick of it… so I’m trading it on kijiji. Email me if you’re interested.

1 Responses to “Gregory the Deer Mime (626)”

Trevor Penton said...
March 22, 2014 at 2:16 PM

I think that is wrong. Its not enough killing the poor animal? This jackass has no respect for life!!


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