Monday, July 23, 2012

The secret to a perfect grilled cheese sandwich (632)

From the people who brought you the recent funny Kijiji ad for an old garage fridge comes this treatise on ovenry.

Make casseroles, non-soft pizza pops, bake cookies, hide stuff, whatever you want
BUY THIS GOLDMINE FOR ONLY $15 (stove)
Price $15.00
Address Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Do you like food? Do you like eating food? Do you like making food?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, then you've stumbled upon THE goldmine ad of your dreams.

If you have ever wanted to make, and then eat your own food, in the comfort of your own home, then you will need this piece of 20th century innovation. Featuring 5 temperature controlling dials, and four coiled heating elements, all in one space-saving box-shaped design, you'll be entertaining your guests in no time.

Trust me, I have one of these, and my family and friends have been raving about it, and my food, for years! Check it out:

Amber: "He makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich, AND, he does it without a microwave! It must be magic!"

Steve: "I like the door in the front where crispy food comes out of. Like pizza pops. No more soft pizza pops!"

Jason: "Have you seen the temperature controlling dials?! I mean, come on...it's the future, but now!"

Little Timmy: "I like that the circle things turn orange, but I don't like how they hurt when I touch them."

Well, there you have it folks. And yes, just like Steve said, it does have a door in the front, which opens up to what I would say is the absolute best selling feature of this stove: the OVEN! Make casseroles, non-soft pizza pops, bake cookies, hide stuff, whatever you want!

Be the envy of everyone you know!

Now, you're probably thinking "But, Mark, how much do you want for something so grand in design?"

Well, first, my name isn't Mark, it's Randy Butternubs, but, that's okay, that's not the point...the point is, you can have this ENTIRE MACHINE, complete with the five temperature controlling dials, the four coiled heating elements, AND, the coveted oven, for only......

$15!!!! So go ahead, pick your jaws up off the floor and email me right away, because this won't last!

As a special offer, if you bring me an unwanted, unopened bottle of alcohol, I will let this go for an UNBELIEVABLY MIND-BLASTING HEART-ATTACK INDUCING PRICE OF $0.00!!!!!!!!!!

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