Thursday, August 2, 2012
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"The most obnoxious apartment ad i've ever seen," writes John Semley on Twitter. That's really saying something, since Kijiji Apartment ads can be brutal on a good day. In this case, the typesetting alone would turn me off, but it's the text that makes your jaw drop and ask -- are you kidding me?
AWESOME --" KENSINGTON MARKET" -- LOFT --AVAILABLE SEPT 1,2012-
Address Toronto, ON M5T 2J9, Canada
Bathrooms (#) 1 bathroom
For Rent By Owner
Pet Friendly No
TOTAL AWESOME----downtown Toronto,Canada--Spadina & Dundas—CHINA TOWN area--1 bedroom----- kensington market ------loft--$1495 per month +utilities--AVAILABLE SEPTEMBER 1,2012--single occupancy only --no sharing--no splitting--no couples--as per the photos--this kensington market loft is totaly fabulous--TOTALY UNIQUE ONE OF A KIND —LOFT------that would suit a film industry professional-- a list -actor-producer--director type person--or a high roller------ MBA business school graduate------business person------it is in the middle of Kensington maket--super fabulous shopping & super fabulous dining experiences surround you-------as per the photo there is zero in the way of kitchen facilities--zero stove--zero fridge--there is only a small bar fridge & a microwave--as per the photos the bathroom consists of a small fibreglass phone booth style shower stall and a toilet--this kensington loft is ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR ANYONE WHO LIKES LIVING IN CONDOS OR HIGH RISES------it is only for someone who--MUST--MUST--MUST -HAVE A KENSINGTON MARKET LOCATION--because they know that right outside their front door is a shopping and multi cultural nirvana and also right outside your front door is a corncopia of food and restaurant delights,bars --that will facinate and delight even the most fussy culinary taste buds--you are only a 15 minute taxi ride away from the Toronto Island Airport --and super cheap Porter Airways flights to the USA and to the rest of Canada--also great for someone who is in between major film projects--or major business projects and wants to fall off the grid for a while--winning renter must have very strong previous rental refrences as well as very strong financial and job references--at least 5 years job experience—same job—FOR A BIG COMPANY—NO IN PERSON SERVER TYPE PEOPLE WILL BE ACCEPTED------you will be competing with hundreds of other renters and only the top renter can win--we are looking for a mature person over the age of 30--who lives alone--------YOU KNOW THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT IT--YOU KNOW THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE IT--this is for someone who already has everything and wants to add the kensington market LOFT lifestyle to your collection-OF OTHER FABULOUS TOYS-----interested partys can email their job and previous rental history Resume to megapowerusa-AT-yahoo.com—serious inquiries only—ONLY THE TOP RENTAL APPLICANTS WILL RECEIVE RESPONSES AND VIEWING APPOINTMENTS-—GOOD LUCK TO THE WINNING RENTER-------thanks