Most Obnoxious Kijiji apartment ad ever (638)

"The most obnoxious apartment ad i've ever seen," writes John Semley on Twitter. That's really saying something, since Kijiji Apartment ads can be brutal on a good day. In this case, the typesetting alone would turn me off, but it's the text that makes your jaw drop and ask -- are you kidding me?

AWESOME --" KENSINGTON MARKET" -- LOFT --AVAILABLE SEPT 1,2012-
Price $1,495.00
Address Toronto, ON M5T 2J9, Canada
Bathrooms (#) 1 bathroom
For Rent By Owner
Furnished No
Pet Friendly No


TOTAL AWESOME----downtown Toronto,Canada--Spadina & Dundas—CHINA TOWN area--1 bedroom----- kensington market ------loft--$1495 per month +utilities--AVAILABLE SEPTEMBER 1,2012--single occupancy only --no sharing--no splitting--no couples--as per the photos--this kensington market loft is totaly fabulous--TOTALY UNIQUE ONE OF A KIND —LOFT------that would suit a film industry professional-- a list -actor-producer--director type person--or a high roller------ MBA business school graduate------business person------it is in the middle of Kensington maket--super fabulous shopping & super fabulous dining experiences surround you-------as per the photo there is zero in the way of kitchen facilities--zero stove--zero fridge--there is only a small bar fridge & a microwave--as per the photos the bathroom consists of a small fibreglass phone booth style shower stall and a toilet--this kensington loft is ABSOLUTELY NOT FOR ANYONE WHO LIKES LIVING IN CONDOS OR HIGH RISES------it is only for someone who--MUST--MUST--MUST -HAVE A KENSINGTON MARKET LOCATION--because they know that right outside their front door is a shopping and multi cultural nirvana and also right outside your front door is a corncopia of food and restaurant delights,bars --that will facinate and delight even the most fussy culinary taste buds--you are only a 15 minute taxi ride away from the Toronto Island Airport --and super cheap Porter Airways flights to the USA and to the rest of Canada--also great for someone who is in between major film projects--or major business projects and wants to fall off the grid for a while--winning renter must have very strong previous rental refrences as well as very strong financial and job references--at least 5 years job experience—same job—FOR A BIG COMPANY—NO IN PERSON SERVER TYPE PEOPLE WILL BE ACCEPTED------you will be competing with hundreds of other renters and only the top renter can win--we are looking for a mature person over the age of 30--who lives alone--------YOU KNOW THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY WANT IT--YOU KNOW THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE IT--this is for someone who already has everything and wants to add the kensington market LOFT lifestyle to your collection-OF OTHER FABULOUS TOYS-----interested partys can email their job and previous rental history Resume to megapowerusa-AT-yahoo.com—serious inquiries only—ONLY THE TOP RENTAL APPLICANTS WILL RECEIVE RESPONSES AND VIEWING APPOINTMENTS-—GOOD LUCK TO THE WINNING RENTER-------thanks

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter