Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Obnoxious Kijiji apartment ad gets more obnoxious (641)

Less than a week after posting the most obnoxious, condescending apartment rental ever on Kijiji, a Kensington Market landlord in Toronto has upped the ante with one even more direct.

SPADINA & DUNDAS -KENSINGTON MARKET DREAM LOFT—$1195--SEPT 1,2012
Price $1,195.00
Address 44 Kensington Ave, Toronto, ON M5T 2J9, Canada
Bathrooms (#) 1 bathroom
For Rent By Owner
Furnished No
Pet Friendly No

KENSINGTON MARKET LOFT-KENSINGTON MARKET LOFT—$1195+ UTILITIES--SEPT 1,2012--1 BEDROOM DREAM, LOFT

SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY-GET IT?
SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY-GET IT?
SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY-GET IT?

WE ARE LOOKING FOR A MATURE PERSON OVER THE AGE OF 30--WHO IS A UNIVERSITY GRADUATE--GET IT?

NO SMOKERS

NO PETS

NO COUPLES-GET IT?
NO COUPLES-GET IT?
NO COUPLES-GET IT?

NO PARTYS

MINIMUM 1 YEAR LEASE

REFERENCES & CREDIT CHECK-BANK LETTER-NO NSF CHEQUES AT LEAST LAST 2 YEARS OR LONGER

YOU MUST HAVE PHOTO ID AS PROOF OF YOUR IDENTITY--YOU MUST EITHER HAVE A VALID ONTARIO DRIVERS LICENCE--OR YOU MUST HAVE A VALID CANADIAN PASSPORT--ZERO OTHER FORMS OF PROOF OF YOUR IDENTITY WILL BE ACCEPTED

MUST HAVE A HIGH PAYING JOB AND WORK FOR A BIG COMPANY--5 YEARS MINIMUM

NO IN PERSON SERVER-NO RETAIL SALES -NO FOOD INDUSTRY PEOPLE WILL BE ACCEPTED--YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST A $30 PER HOUR NON COMMISSION JOB--FOR A BIG COMPANY SAME JOB AT LEAST 5 YEARS-NO SMALL BUSINESS MAW & PAW OWNER OPERATED BUSINSESSES TYPE EMPLOYERS

NO SHARING-NO SUB-LETING-NO RENT SPLITTING-GET IT?

NO COMMERCIAL BUSINESSES OR HOME BASED BUSINESSES

NO SHOWINGS UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE THAT YOU ARE AN A+ QUALIFIED TENANT

YOU NEED TO EMAIL YOUR RENTAL QUALIFICATIONS--ONLY TOP RENTERS WILL RECEIVE RESPONSES AND VIEWING APPOINTMENTS

IF YOU ASK FOR A SHOWING WITHOUT SUPPLYING YOUR RENTAL QUALIFICATIONS YOUR EMAIL WILL BE DELETED


KENSINTON MARKET 1 BEDROOM DREAM LOFT-------CLOSE TO EVERYTHING--NO COMMUTING--AMAZING FOOD--AMAZING DRINKS--AMAZING CULTURE--AMAZING SHOPPING--AMAZING EVERYTHING--JUST OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR--YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT--ZERO COOKING FACILITIES--ZERO STOVE--ZERO FRIDGE ZERO COOKING--YOU DON'T NEED IT--UNLIMITED FOOD OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR--ONLY A MICROWAVE AND A SMALL MINI BAR FRIDGE TO KEEP DRINKS COLD--IF YOU LIKE CONDOS & HIGH RISES YOU WILL HATE KENSINGTON MARKET--IF YOU HATE CONDOS & HIGH RISES YOU WILL LOVE KENSINGTON MARKET
Thanks to everyone who's been sharing this on Facebook and Twitter today. KEEP IT UP! Please bookmark YouSuckAtKijiji.com and keep coming back.

1 Responses to “Obnoxious Kijiji apartment ad gets more obnoxious (641)”

scintillator said...
August 16, 2012 at 3:31 PM

Wow, these landlords are assholes. Imagine trying to get these people to fix your broken toilet or leaky tap. "I THOUGHT YOU HAD A HIGH PAYING JOB WITH A BIG COMPANY! FIX IT YOURSELF!"

Also the all-caps makes this sound like HULK LANDLORD SMASH COHABITATING BARISTAS


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