Obnoxious Kijiji apartment ad gets more obnoxious (641)

Less than a week after posting the most obnoxious, condescending apartment rental ever on Kijiji, a Kensington Market landlord in Toronto has upped the ante with one even more direct.

SPADINA & DUNDAS -KENSINGTON MARKET DREAM LOFT—$1195--SEPT 1,2012
Price $1,195.00
Address 44 Kensington Ave, Toronto, ON M5T 2J9, Canada
Bathrooms (#) 1 bathroom
For Rent By Owner
Furnished No
Pet Friendly No

KENSINGTON MARKET LOFT-KENSINGTON MARKET LOFT—$1195+ UTILITIES--SEPT 1,2012--1 BEDROOM DREAM, LOFT

SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY-GET IT?
SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY-GET IT?
SINGLE OCCUPANCY ONLY-GET IT?

WE ARE LOOKING FOR A MATURE PERSON OVER THE AGE OF 30--WHO IS A UNIVERSITY GRADUATE--GET IT?

NO SMOKERS

NO PETS

NO COUPLES-GET IT?
NO COUPLES-GET IT?
NO COUPLES-GET IT?

NO PARTYS

MINIMUM 1 YEAR LEASE

REFERENCES & CREDIT CHECK-BANK LETTER-NO NSF CHEQUES AT LEAST LAST 2 YEARS OR LONGER

YOU MUST HAVE PHOTO ID AS PROOF OF YOUR IDENTITY--YOU MUST EITHER HAVE A VALID ONTARIO DRIVERS LICENCE--OR YOU MUST HAVE A VALID CANADIAN PASSPORT--ZERO OTHER FORMS OF PROOF OF YOUR IDENTITY WILL BE ACCEPTED

MUST HAVE A HIGH PAYING JOB AND WORK FOR A BIG COMPANY--5 YEARS MINIMUM

NO IN PERSON SERVER-NO RETAIL SALES -NO FOOD INDUSTRY PEOPLE WILL BE ACCEPTED--YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST A $30 PER HOUR NON COMMISSION JOB--FOR A BIG COMPANY SAME JOB AT LEAST 5 YEARS-NO SMALL BUSINESS MAW & PAW OWNER OPERATED BUSINSESSES TYPE EMPLOYERS

NO SHARING-NO SUB-LETING-NO RENT SPLITTING-GET IT?

NO COMMERCIAL BUSINESSES OR HOME BASED BUSINESSES

NO SHOWINGS UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE THAT YOU ARE AN A+ QUALIFIED TENANT

YOU NEED TO EMAIL YOUR RENTAL QUALIFICATIONS--ONLY TOP RENTERS WILL RECEIVE RESPONSES AND VIEWING APPOINTMENTS

IF YOU ASK FOR A SHOWING WITHOUT SUPPLYING YOUR RENTAL QUALIFICATIONS YOUR EMAIL WILL BE DELETED


KENSINTON MARKET 1 BEDROOM DREAM LOFT-------CLOSE TO EVERYTHING--NO COMMUTING--AMAZING FOOD--AMAZING DRINKS--AMAZING CULTURE--AMAZING SHOPPING--AMAZING EVERYTHING--JUST OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR--YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT--ZERO COOKING FACILITIES--ZERO STOVE--ZERO FRIDGE ZERO COOKING--YOU DON'T NEED IT--UNLIMITED FOOD OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR--ONLY A MICROWAVE AND A SMALL MINI BAR FRIDGE TO KEEP DRINKS COLD--IF YOU LIKE CONDOS & HIGH RISES YOU WILL HATE KENSINGTON MARKET--IF YOU HATE CONDOS & HIGH RISES YOU WILL LOVE KENSINGTON MARKET

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter