The perfect candidate for any job; Just ask me! (673)

This Kijiji Barrie ad is disqualified from being in the 'genius' category because the poster put it in the wrong category. A real genius would know that the Jobs category is for jobs -- people trying to hire people -- while the Resumes category is for job-seekers. He posted this under Jobs.

Otherwise, it's an excellent piece of work. And I say this as an arrogant, condescending and humble genius.

Looking for Reliable, Genius to Work at Your Company?
Date Listed 30-Nov-12
Address Barrie, ON, Canada
Job Type Full-Time

Face it, most people who you hire are terrible. They are stupid, hard to train, not personable and most of all, they are boring.

I am the best employee available. I already have a job, but it is part time and with Christmas coming I need some cash. I have a Master's degree in English Literature, I get along with everyone and I am crazy smart.

There just are not people like me looking for work. This is a rare opportunity to hire someone good.

On top of these otherwise awesome skills, I also am hilarious and very fun to work with, an expert writer, public speaker, salesman, and did I say genius?

Just by knowing me I will make your business better because I will be able to tell you things you have never thought of. You will be blown away by my charms, intelligence, and social skills. Not to mention I look like a young Johnny Depp.

If you need anything, if you are thinking of hiring anyone, give me a call. I will satisfy you in ways you did not know an employee was capable of.

I will soon be a millionaire and won't need to hire myself out, but take advantage while you can. My current job will prove to you that I am reliable. My degree shows I am smart. If you have eyes, you will melt when you look at me. You will laugh so much in my presence you will think that you are high.

Yeah, I lack humility. But we can't all be perfect, so gimme a call.

Thanks.

This post was written by: Gord McCord

Gord McCord, webmaster at You Suck at Kijiji, makes fun of funny things on Kijiji. Do not take him too seriously. Also do not take yourself too seriously. Follow him on Twitter