Kijiji Suck 201: Camara: automobile or photography tool?

Avid reader Joe submits this:

Wanted: WANTED A MOTaR FOR 2003 TOYLOA CAMARA

I'm luking for a motur for a 2003 Toyloa Camara, 6 cycler for a rezionioble price. call 564-xxxx or you can email me.

 Is this one of those Toyloas with the flauty sag pelads that have been rlacced lately?

Kijiji wedding photographers suck

A thread at Reality Check explores the suckage of some of the photographers advertising on Kijiji:

I was just looking at some photographers works on KIJIJI and man there are some real bad photographers out there. I understand i have a lot to learn and for me it's just a hobby but damn. It's true what everyone has been saying about anyone who owns a camera thinking they are a photographer. Even better are the ones claiming to be the cheapest in town, well no wonder. Those of you doing this for a living do you find that these "photographers" help or hurt your business. I would think that anyone knowing anything would expect to pay good money for a good photographer.

If begging doesn't work, call people "cunt bag"

A user on Kijiji Halifax has four pages of ads, which follow a theme, but it'll take us some work to determine what the precise theme is.

Wanted: IM LOOSING MY FAITH IN HUMANITY NOT 1 PERSON HAS A ROOM

Please i need a place to stay ilost everything in a fire and i feel like a complete idiot on here. If i had family in canada i could stay with them But i dont and im forced to uswe this site and look like a begger i have never been on welfair and dont tend to start. I am a Business man dress neat and have respecgt for myself and others. But i lost my appartment have proof of the fire. I spent time living in a hotel but have run out of money. EVERY DAY I PUT UP AN ADD HOPEING SOMONE OUT THERE WILL SEE THIS AND OFFER ME A TEMP HAND. But alas nothing i really am trying to figure out where i can stay. All i need is a room somewhere that i dont have to pay up front as i dont have any money left. But everyone i guess thinks this is a joke or a scam i assure you its not either.
Please somone with a bit of decency give me some credit and offer me a hand
i will do my best to repay you in full but i dont have anything now.
Im hopeing to get somewhere soon.
Please if you can help i would be forever in your debt
Hopeing

This clean-cut if illiterate Businessman is, nevertheless, looking for company:

Hi there Graet guy here looking for male or female activity part

Hi there
I really just like meeting people and having a good time. So if you wanna go workout together or go shopping of just go for coffie call me please
id love to do something with someone who also wants to enjoy life
I realy hope to hear from you soon
Thanks

Sounds great, huh? Maybe even "great"! A cultured, if illiterate, man with respect for everybody. The only problem is, he's completely broke.

Yes, entirely broke, except for his substantial stash of investment capital:

NEED HELP WITH A BUSINESS PLAN PLEASE HELP

Hi there
i need help as soon as possiable doing up a business plan. I dont have much money for it so im relying on somone who wants to shar. that dont mean im entirley broke i have money buy its for the Capital in the business. This i see as a great opertunity for you and i to meet.
Please contact me asap
Thanks

Gosh, can all these things be possible at once? Or even "possiable"? Well, at least there's one thing that's consistent with all these ads. He can't spell, and he doesn't have a job.

Wanted: LOOKING FOR A ROOM OR A PLACE TO STAY TODAY

HI THERE

Please can you help me with a room today i have no money yet but ave a job will have cash in a week please get back to me asap
thanks

Shit. Okay, he has a job. No money, aside from substantial investment capital, but he has a job. Can't spend the substantial investment capital on a room, but a homeless businessman who wants to take a lady out for coffee because he treats people with respect... you know, there's got to be something there to love, right? Maybe his honesty. I mean, he's honest. Honestly a businessman.

APPARTMENT MANAGER LOOKING FOR WORK

Hi there
Do you need a great super who knows cleaning painting general repairs and know the business
Has great people skills. This should be a live in position.
Please contact me now im available
Thanks

Oh. Perhaps I misunderstood that "business man" with "investment capital" actually meant homeless cleaner looking for a place to live. I don't know that I'd let someone manage an apartment if he can't SPELL apartment, but you all know that I'm picky with that stuff. Still, he seems like a sweet guy, if a little unstable and ... um ... again, illiterate.
Surely someone would love to love him?

Wanted: Im looking
Hi there

I reallize this isint for everyone
But if your looking for somone im a great catch. Im starting a business in halifax and im thinking about finding somone to move in with. Ill help out with the bills and if you have a spare room it would be great. Who knows if you just have a cat as company maybe this is the way to go. I love cooking walks movies snuggling.
So give it a try why not whats life about, meeting people falling in love and living happily ever after. we can meet and see if we are compatiable
waiting for you

Ok, this is getting creepy.

Anyway, I sent this poor fellow a short note, including some words of compassion following the loss of his home in a devastating fire: "I wish you the best of luck after your recent misfortunes."

And here, friends, is the reply. The email address, which you'll love, is "Jack Me": jackme8888@yahoo.com

You are a whore and I can proove it
Haha go Fuck your mother she cares about what you have to say
Cunt bag hahahah

Sent from my iPhone

I'm sad that he didn't start it with "HI THERE".

For more, please browse the ads of one of his (at least two) logins: http://halifax.kijiji.ca/c-PostersOtherAds-W0QQPageZ1QQUserIdZ47071519

Kijiji Suck 200: Another crazy maritime car

Is this a new meme in the maritimes? Another wacky car ad.

1992 Geo Metro grey wit flames by Convertible

Price $600.00
Location Halifax
For Sale By Owner
Make Geo
Model Metro
Trim grey wit flames by
Year 1992
Kilometers 665412
Body Type Convertible
Transmission Manual
Colour Grey
Drivetrain Rear-wheel drive (RWD)
Fuel Type Diesel

hows she goin by i gots ma gea metra she by a 1992 or 1995 im not really sure.i been driviner sence i gots er back in 1998 and i gots a incpection sticka on er from a 98 fard truck. i gots some pictas from my home town nort riva. she run out in 99 but they haddent chought me yet haha not lets talk about sume of the modulations i gots done to a. well now let me start i gots 4 hubbin cap on er. 2 6 inch speakers in da box but one be broken. i got an ol tapin deck from my house. and i took a paint brush and put flames on er. i think i was told that da flames giver 40 horse. then unda da hood of er by. i got a brand hamma new konin filtra. shes only gots i think 100 thousand on da filta works perfect i dont tooka from a backhoe . DONT SHE MONES LIKE A DESIEL. and why shes cut up is because i was up to da big city of bridgewater and i done gone done looked at fridge and i couldn fitta in da back of er. so i went and bought a mini grinder and cutta off by. but good to say the mini grinder mader home but the fridge fell off on the high way.. i guess you gotsta ti em down or somethin i didnt under stand but all in all i got a truck and a new mini grinder. one good day from nort riva