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Greetings, Kijiji fans!

I apologize for the site not being updated in quite some time. Family circumstances changed drastically a little over a year ago, leaving me little time to indulge in my Kijiji humour hobby.

I've not forgotten you! I hope to get back to active site updates in the near future. Kijiji is more popular than ever, so I expect there are more funny ads than ever. Thanks to everyone who's written in with hilarious examples. I've just not been able to get to them.

Soon, I hope. Soon!

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Thanks to @CitizenWilliams for finding this pro twerker willing to teach n00bs the butt-shaking way of life.

Twerking lessons
81 Primrose Street, Dartmouth, NS B3A, Canada

Qualified twerking enthusiast. I teach all styles of twerk, the shuffle back, grab the rump, bend over, and shake it down. I believe twerking is more a sport and not just a passion. Enhance any dance floor with moves that il make em say dammmmm that's one hot mess.
$60/30min or $90/hr.

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Oh, good grief. This ad is from Halifax, and just because I'm so appalled, I'm going to link you to the user's ads.

Calling snow bunnies!! Ghosts and ghouls welcome for halloween
Address Dartmouth, NS, Canada

Im a profeshional photogtapher for the past 10 years and winter is coming, Im looking for a few brave soles when the snow comes for a snow bunnies shoot. I am also offering a halloween boudoir style shoot. Unpaid but you will get a copy of all edited images. If you are intersted and want more datails reply with your name, age, and a photo.
My port is avalable upon request.
On location only.

Would you let that man in your bedroom?

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A bazillion hits for this poetic ad about a simple piece of furniture which is inhabited by the spirit of a very complicated woman.

Price $150.00

Address Saint John, NB E2M 4W5, Canada

Dresser For Sale- Possessed By Ex Girlfriend

I am selling the dresser that my ex left behind when we split.

Like in our relationship, she felt it wasn't an obligation of hers to move anything along in our union or move anything out when she left.

This dresser has 9 drawers for hiding even everything from the largest load of BS to the smallest of emotion

It's made mostly of solid wood (mirror and drawer faces) and is very sturdy and very heavy - again like my ex but with less pulp.

I believe it is made of oak and not self loathing and hatred
It has a huge trifold mirror that was perfect for each of her faces.

Very few bumps and bruises this dresser is a real keeper and just needs a little TLC - not years of therapy or Daddy's approval.

No reason to create the illusion of a bad childhood because this dresser is willing to provide a purpose for a family - storing clothes with no emotional baggage or snack cakes.

Doesn't gripe, never wonders where you have been and it can be friends with other pieces of furniture without being jealous or complaining. It does not believe the foot stool is a wh0re!

Drawers slide open freely and easily like my ex but without the aid of alcohol, cash, or credit cards

I am looking to sell it for the same amount of weight she gained in our relationship about $150. That price is not negotiable unlike my ex in any bar on a Saturday Night.

Valued at a lot more and like my ex at that price I am giving it away

Pickup only as I am just one man and like my ex - one guy just won't cut it so bring your friends!

Well worth it if you are a wingman, the adventurous type or a glutton for punishment

DISCLAIMER: Exorcism unnecessary as its evil spirits left having already draining me of anything identifying me as a man and human being

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Twitter user @stacymaee says "one of the most bizarre kijiji ads ive ever seen." She's obviously not been to yousuckatkijiji.com, but she's on to something.

Thing is, it's obviously a rip-off of an old American ad. Obama t-shirts? Nancy Pelosi? Flag-burners? What Canadian in Barrie would write such a thing? If you're going to steal an ad to get attention, why not pick one that might resonate here?

♥♥OUR DOG♥♥
Price Free
Address Barrie, ON L4M 2K3, Canada

♥IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT E-MAILS♥
♥ABOUT OUR DOG: ♥

PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS
ABOUT OUR DOG!!!!!

YES, HE MAULED SIX PEOPLE WEARING OBAMA T-SHIRTS, FOUR PEOPLE WEARING PELOSI T-SHIRTS, NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR CRACK, THREE FLAG BURNERS,
AND A TAXI DRIVER.

FOR THE LAST TIME...
THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE HE'S FREE!!!!!

NO, I DO NOT APPROVE OF HIS SMOKING, BUT - HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE "BAD TASTE" OUT OF HIS MOUTH!!!!!

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Male Pokemon Trainer Seeking Worthy Adversary
Watch | Share | Print | Report Ad
Address Saint John, NB, Canada

Indigo League top16 contender specializing in Ghost and Psychic types, seeks local trainers to participate in one-on-one battles of 3-6 Pokemon each for training sessions before the winter Ice League Tournament in Alaska

Please contact using that weird skype box thing at your local Pokemon Center and messaging me @ "MagikarpMayonaise1126" and letting me know where and when you want to battle!

Me and my Pokemon team will be available for the better part of the month. All challengers will be taken, though not a one taken lightly.

*No Items to be applied in-battle (fresh water, potions, burn heal, etc.), only held items permitted.*

See you on the field,
-Silver